You Are Not Alone
Darkness envelops me…The screams deafening..My head is pounding…
I struggle to open my eyes, as the screams get louder and now there are more of them. The bedroom door opens to 2 tear-stained faces and the sickening smell of throw-up. Amidst the cries and gagging, I start to call for help, then stop, he’s not there, no one is there. Anger flares as I grab my 2-year-old and take her to the tub. She winces as I pick her up just a little too hard. Frustration quickly replaces any guilt I may have felt, as questions roared in my mind “How could he, why me, why them, and how can I?” Sadness and loneliness overwhelm me as I tuck my daughter into bed with her older brother, only to find that he has wet the bed. Too exhausted to care I throw the soiled bedding down the stairs and stumble to bed. With tears streaming down my face I finally close my eyes. Seconds later the screams begin again… my eyes flare open, my face feels hot, and something horrifying breaks inside me. My control is gone. Fear, hate, anger, frustration, sadness, and loneliness all take over. I stomp to their room with my only thought- I CAN’T DO THIS.
Have you ever experienced a moment where you felt like you couldn’t go on?
Parents, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Every parent will have a moment where they are so overwhelmed or frustrated that they just want to give up. Child abuse often occurs when parents react rather than respond to a situation. The ending of this story, and yours, can go two ways. Your story depends on whether you react or respond.
Responsive parenting refers to family interactions in which parents are aware of their children’s emotional and physical needs and respond appropriately and consistently. Parents who are responsive understand individual developmental and temperamental differences of their children and have the tools to respond quickly and appropriately. This doesn’t mean that parents won’t become overwhelmed at times but rather they have the tools to prevent and or respond to situations where they may feel out of control.
“You can learn a lot of things from your children. Finding out how much patience you have is one of them.”
COVID-19 has changed our day to day interactions and created new stressors that are now part of everyday life. The Family Support Center recognizes that we are living in difficult times and want parents to know we are here to offer support.
Our Crisis nurseries are still open and we implore parents to use our three facilities, located in Midvale, Sugarhouse, and West Valley. Statistics show that during times of economic uncertainty, there are direct effects on the risk of abuse or neglect (Schneider et al, 2017). The Crisis Nurseries can offer parents respite during a time when tensions and stress are high.
The Family Support Center’s Clinical Department offers counseling services to families and individuals dealing with traumatic/stressful experiences. We accept Medicaid and an income-based, sliding scale payment system allowing us to serve everyone in need. Additional education classes are offered to address specific needs in our community. Parents can utilize our Crisis Nurseries for childcare during their counseling appointments and classes.
The Family Support Center is proud to offer an in-home Family Mentor program, which is a free, personalized, confidential program. During the COVID-19 pandemic, Family Mentor is being offered through video chat. During these visits, families earn how to deal with specific family challenges, including handling stress, keeping children safe, problem-solving, parenting through a crisis, and normal childhood stages of development.
Did you know…
One out of 8 children will suffer abuse or neglect by the time they graduate high school. In 2019 there were a devastating 4,033 confirmed cases of child abuse in Salt Lake County. Statistics show that 90% of these abuse cases will have been perpetrated by a parent. During times of hardship and crisis, the number of abuse cases dramatically increases.
There are long term repercussions for children of child abuse. Abused children are more likely to suffer from chronic diseases, such as diabetes, cancer, lung disease, arthritis, and high blood pressure. Abused children are more likely to experience attachment disorders that end up affecting their ability to form positive peer, social, and romantic relationships later in life. These children are also more likely to perpetuate violence against children later in life. The human and economic costs of child maltreatment are simply too high.
The Family Support Center is dedicated to protecting children, strengthening families, and preventing child abuse. We recognize that it takes more than just a parent to protect children, it takes a community, and we want parents to know we are here to offer support during difficult times.
There will always be moments where you feel overwhelmed, stressed, exhausted, and or frustrated. The Family Support Center wants you to know,
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
We implore you to reach out and obtain the tools that will allow you to protect your children, strengthen your family, and prevent child abuse.
Other Resources:
-Courtney Eborn and Bobbi Lord, Family Support Center