My Home at LifeStart Village

When I first stepped foot onto the LifeStart Village property…

My family was immediately greeted by staff and other residents with rules to follow and earfuls of advice. Once again, my mom began moving my brother and I into a brand new place and transferred us to a new school. This was temporary. I knew this routine and what the following months would look like. 

You see, this was not my first big move.

My mom was not raised in a stable environment. When my mom was growing up, my Nana was always using and selling drugs. As a result my mom began using drugs at age 11. She knew nothing other than this lifestyle, so naturally, she adopted it. At sixteen years old, she left with her boyfriend, my father, and fell further into her addiction. At 22, she became pregnant with me, their first daughter, and later my brother. Soon after, my father abandoned us. 

My mom was in the middle of her addiction and I never had a place to call home.

From the beginning, my mom and I spent nights with my Nana and Aunt. Although many people would consider this home, it was not mine. It was not permanent, and knew that. I became attached to my Nana at a young age and resented my mom for not always allowing us to stay there. At the time, I was unaware of the risky behaviors that surrounded me when I was with my grandma. I have since become aware that leaving my Nana was my mom’s first attempt at changing our lives.

When I was just three years old and my brother was about to turn one, we moved into the House of Hope. Now that I am older and understand the situation we were in, I know that my mom was not in the right place mentally to become sober and turn our lives around. She was in treatment because those around us had nagged her to be. While I know my mom wanted the best for me then and continues to this day, I do not believe that it was the right time to do a full 360 degree turn for the better. She wasn’t ready.

Upon graduating from treatment, our little family of three went back into the same routine we had always been in. I watched as drugs gradually took over my mom’s life once again.

There we were, right back to square one.

We needed my mom, now, more than ever to get our lives back on track. I wanted to be safe and wanted to grow up with my mom. I truly believe that this made my mom realize how much we needed her in our lives. It was time and she was ready.

Once again, we packed our bags and headed back into treatment. 

I remember more from the second time in treatment. I was five years old. It was during treatment the second time that I really started to understand how abnormal my life was. I did not want to talk about my family, where I lived or who I was. The other kids wanted to be my friend, but I did not want them to be, as I knew I would not be here for long. 

Not long after graduating from the House of Hope, our family of three stepped foot onto the property of LifeStart Village. It was scary. I was confused. I was used to being around other families, but this time was different. Inside our own apartment I finally had a room I could call my own, but once again, I refused to allow myself to call this place home. This was just another temporary living situation, or so I thought. 

A lot was asked of my family when we became a part of LifeStart Village. I had to wear shoes almost everywhere, which I thought was lame. I had to keep my room clean and learn to get along with the other children, as we spent a lot of time together. I watched as my mom was required to complete a nightly chore, attend classes and cook for the other residents. The program was strictly run, and while I did not understand then, I am able to look at my mom today and understand how important it was. My mom began setting a routine for my brother and I. We allowed ourselves to create new habits and fall into a life that was beneficial for each of us. While I knew my mom would forever be a recovering drug addict, I never expected that she would change to the point where she successfully took over both parental roles. She fought for us. 

My love for the LifeStart Village did not begin when we became residents of the program.

My love for this place began when my mom stopped cooking spaghetti every night and started to cook homemade chicken noodle soup. My love for this place began when another resident invited me to help her cook taco salad for the rest of the house, which turned out to be one of my favorite memories from the Village (besides every single holiday, of course). My love for baking and cooking started here. 

After I had been at the same school and living in the same apartment for over 6 months, I allowed myself to overcome a large barrier of mine. I had chosen to accept that the future is not always known, but that I was here right now and would not be leaving anytime soon. I began to call LifeStart Village my home. I accepted that I had a new normal. My normal now included eating dinner as a family every night, growing unconditional love for my mom and viewing her as the warrior that allowed us as a family, to overcome so much. My new normal was creating friendships that lasted. We found stability because of LifeStart Village.

I am now 14 years old. When I look back on my childhood, I feel that being able to grow up in LifeStart Village was a privilege and blessing. Without LifeStart Village I may not have known what it feels like to wake up on Christmas morning to a bright tree and presents with my name on them. I may not have known that the community cared about my family and consistently proved it by hosting events and providing our families with Christmas presents, turkey dinners and Easter eggs hunts. At one point, I pretended to have as normal of a life as possible, but today, I am glad that I did not have a normal childhood. Without my “abnormal” childhood, I would not be the person I am today and would not have the indestructible relationship that has grown between my mom and I.

This is a place I will forever call home.

In 2018, my mom was able to purchase a home. While I am technically no longer a part of the program, LifeStart Village holds a special place in my heart. I spend numerous hours each year helping with childcare, art projects and any other projects that they need. I am honored to continue to be a part of this program alongside my mom, the Director of LifeStart Village.

Thank you LifeStart Village, you saved us.

-Carris’ Story (Written by Mattea Van De Wiele, Program Coordinator)