2020: The Time to be Resilient
Let’s be honest, so far 2020 has been very interesting…
The world that we live in has never looked so different. Everyday the media circulates stories about the pandemic, natural disasters, global affairs, political wars being fought, injustices being dealt, and the never-ending stories of violence occurring both outside and within our neighborhoods. This list doesn’t include the additional factors that may or may not be occurring in our personal lives such as divorce, financial strains, homeschooling, illness, abuse, homelessness, work, and numerous other stressors. The daily onslaught of news is enough to make me feel like the world is collapsing from underneath me. Somehow the new “normal” feels like a raging storm encompassing the everyday aspects of my life, often leaving me exhausted and overwhelmed.
I’ve begun to realize when I feel like I am being swallowed by the 2020 storm, that I need to be proactive in becoming resilient. Without the extra help, I run the risk of being swept away in the stress and fear that currently encapsulates the world.
Okay so here’s the question, what does it mean to be resilient?
Resiliency is the ability to adapt and thrive in the face of adversity.
Probably easier said than done, right? It’s easy to talk about the importance of becoming resilient but until recently, I never fully understood why. Research shows significant long-term impacts that resiliency can have on your mental, physical, and even spiritual health. Well okay, I knew being resilient was beneficial in many ways but saying something and actually doing it are two completely different things. This only led me to a new question;
how do I become resilient?
Below are some tips I found while delving into this topic. Research has taught me that building resiliency is a dynamic process: it looks different for every single person and it adapts and changes throughout our lives. Since our lives are constantly in a state of change, I know mine is, resiliency is something that needs to be exercised and practiced on a daily basis in order to provide the support needed.
1) Change your narrative
I chuckled when I read this because my first thought was, isn’t 2020’s narrative pretty much written? That's where my problem was. I made myself pause and think, where is the silver lining for 2020? There it was, the 2020 narrative that felt like an overwhelming storm was instead a year about personal growth, learning, and adapting to new challenges. Essentially, it seemed 2020 was actively teaching me to be resilient. I had found my silver lining.
Now how do I keep this in practice? Resiliency, like every skill, requires continuous exercise. In a 2014 study, researchers found that when journaling daily, within 3 weeks participants experienced a decrease in pessimism and felt increased engagement with life. So here was the tip, I dedicated a small portion of my day writing out my narrative. For me, sometimes this looks like a normal journal entry, other days I’ve simply managed to scribble a few thoughts on a sticky note, and every once in a while my narrative change is just entered into a list on my phone.
2) Practice self-compassion
First of all, let’s remember that we’re only human and we make mistakes.
Here is something I have learned and use to help practice self-compassion. It’s called a self-compassion break. During this 3-step break, the goal is to be mindful about the three aspects of self-compassion.
Be mindful: Without judgment or analysis, notice what you’re feeling. Say, “This is a moment of suffering” or “This hurts” or “This is stress.”
Remember that you’re not alone: Everyone experiences deep and painful human emotions, although the causes might be different. Say to yourself, “Suffering is a part of life” or “We all feel this way” or “We all struggle in our lives.”
Be kind to yourself: Put your hands on your heart and say something like “May I give myself compassion” or “May I accept myself as I am” or “May I be patient.”
3) Meditation/Mindfulness
Practicing mindfulness brings us more and more into the present, and it offers techniques for dealing with negative emotions when they arise. That way, instead of getting carried away into fear, anger, or despair, we can work through them more deliberately.
Meditation should be unique to you.
Somehow meditation is extremely difficult for me, in a busy world I feel like I constantly need to be moving and doing something, so with this next tip I have learned to take it in baby steps. Lately my mediation is best when I am taking a long walk, with no set goal. I have found during these walks that I feel a lot of peace and my attention becomes centered around me in the moment rather than where I think I need to be.
4) Cultivate forgiveness
Mistakes are just that, mistakes.
Being able to cultivate forgiveness is essential to your long-term mental and physical health. In my own experience, learning to forgive myself is often harder than learning to forgive others. When I think of my mistakes as learning experiences, thus changing the narrative, I find that I have an easier time cultivating forgiveness towards myself.
- Courtney Eborn
Volunteer and Retention Specialist
Family Support Center
First, it’s important to understand how you feel and why you feel the way you do.
Second, make a commitment to yourself to feel better because forgiveness is for you.
Third, give up expecting things from your life or from other people that they do not choose to give you. Remind yourself that you are allowed to hope and work for health, love, friendship, and prosperity.
Resiliency is a skill that I will be forever working on, not because I will never achieve it but because I will continue growing and facing new challenges. My hope is that I can incorporate these tips to build my resilience, to help compensate and prepare for the ever-evolving storm of life.